For context, I (21M) have a friend who I'll call Nina (20F). I met her last October. Nina is a pretty flirtatious person to everyone, and when I first hung around her, I took it seriously. Every time we would hang out, she would always hit on me in a joking way, and at first, that's all it was. My friendship with her was a good one, where we could talk and laugh.
Now to introduce another person, who we will call Lexy (20F). Lexi was Nina's best friend since 1st grade. They were inseparable. Nina introduced me to Lexi, and we clicked immediately. The first time we met, we had a conversation lasting until 3:30 in the morning. Everything felt so easy with Lexi, and it was the first time I didn't feel like I needed to hide anything with her. Because of that, though both were attractive, I started to lean more towards Lexi as someone I wanted to explore a future relationship with.
Both people made it clear to me they saw me as just a friend and that I would be nothing more. Even when this escalated, nobody put a label on anything going on. Nobody made anything clear on exclusivity or anything of the sort. Both of them also encountered some pretty serious friendship issues between the two of them, and took some space a month and a half ago due to Nina's request. Nina still cared about Lexi and vice versa, but Nina needed time to figure out how she wanted to approach her feelings.
Now to the story.
My relationships with the two women began to deepen. With Lexi, she sent a boundary from the very beginning outlining how she does not want me as anything more due to her paranoia of her male friends having feelings for her. I understood, and respected that boundary. However, every time we hung out afterward, she started asking me if I could cuddle, then asking me if I could help alleviate some pent up stress because she was "ovulating and just needed any man." She would tell me over and over that I was not physically attractive to her, and because of that, she did not actually want to sleep with me, but she wanted me to do sexual things for her. She confided in me how she feels some sort of competitive jealousy when it comes to me and Nina, and even though she hates it, she continually acts on it to try and "win me over."
Nina's flirtation started to heighten. She began to treat me differently than her other friends she flirted with. Her friends began to notice the shift in behavior and saw our chemistry together. We were supported from the beginning by everyone, because everyone saw what we were starting to see. Things ended up escalating, and we ended up sleeping together. Thus began our unlabeled physical relationship. Nina was VERY flirty after this. She would talk about loving my scent, being obsessed with everything about me, and would constantly talk about how nice everything about me was. She desired me, and I felt it. However, I always assumed it was just physical. She explicitly stated she wasn't ready for a relationship, and I respected it and assumed that she didn't want to commit to me, and vice versa.
Because I was Lexi's friend still, I still made plans to visit her the weekend after me and Nina started sleeping together. I talked to Nina about it, and she said that I can tell Lexi about us. I end up visiting and telling her later on in the night. A bunch of things ended up happening between that and what occurred next, none of which are important or memorable, but me and Lexi ended up sleeping together. Because of our emotional connection, things between us felt almost like a relationship while I was visiting her. Flirty touches, words, and the tension all added up between us. I ended up leaving the Monday after that weekend. Lexi told me she wanted to process everything alone, and I also needed to take some time to figure out what just happened. The minute I came back, I saw Nina and our relationship continued like nothing happened.
A hole started boring into my skull, one that was very obvious: How do I tell Nina about me and Lexi? Do I even tell her? What do I say? I was very emotionally activated, and I didn't want to make any rash decisions or end up saying the wrong thing. While this was happening, Lexi was completely ghosting me, and I felt awful with everything combined happening. While all of this was going on in my head, I was still sleeping with Nina. I didn't tell her anything that was going on in my head. However, I decided that I needed to be honest and come forward about what I did, because I cared about our relationship and I wanted to try and grow past it with her. I sat her down and said "Hey, I need to be honest with you, you should know what's going on. While things were developing between us, I saw Lexi." She had questions about it, like "Saw?" "How did it happen?" "Why are you telling me now?" and I answered them accordingly and honestly. She then pretty much said that she wasn't mad at me, but she was mad at the fact that I didn't tell her while we were sleeping together, meaning my mind was on something else, and while I might've been in a heightened state, I was still "present" in that I wasn't in a psychotic episode or anything like that. She told me she just had to rant in her car to her phone, and I hugged her, told her I was sorry for how poorly I handled it, and she sent me off. An hour later, she sent me a message saying "I'm not interested in continuing anything with you. I'll have someone pass your clothes back to you." I also received a message from Lexi saying "We are no longer friends," which implied that she found out about the situation somehow. I was devastated. These were the two people closest to me, gone with one text within an hour of each other. Lexi ended up calling me later wanting some clarity and expressing that her message was sent out of impulse and that while she's mad at me right now, she thinks we could try to be friends after all of this in the future. However, as I talked to my family more about this whole situation, they kept telling me that I shouldn't keep Lexi around due to her part in all of this, which I agreed with in the sense that I don't want anything further than maybe friends at this point.
What I am worried about is my relationship with Nina. That message was written with finality all over the tone. She ended up blocking me on pretty much everything immediately after sending that message. I am currently receiving conflicting advice on whether to reach out later or accept the current situation as permanent. I have my doubts, but hearing that I still have a chance with her from my support system is what I want to hear, so I'm met with a lot of conflicting feelings about how I should approach this situation. Looking for your advice on navigating our future, if it exists.