I find this interesting and have no one else to talk to about it so I came to reddit
background info: a while back I was married, it was a bad marriage and I was trying to get out of it. my then husband and I had agreed on an open marriage near the end of everything. in my pursuits, I met this dude who I hit it off with really well. I wasnt trying to get emotionally involved with anyone so I kept some walls up to prevent emotional attachment. through our short few months together the fwb side piece would say stuff here and there about us dating one day. he'd also joke about me taking his roommates place when he moves out. eventually tho down the line, he broke things off with me cuz he started dating another girl. I was upset of course, it was both realizing I definitely could never have this person I really wanted and I had lost my oasis I was able to escape to.
flash forward a couple years and I was finally out of my marriage and single. I saw on his IG he kept alluding to breaking up with that girl. I decided to shoot my shot and reached out to him to let him know no hard feelings about breaking it off and sorry I didn't take it well, etc. we stayed texting here and there for a while after that, friendly and slightly flirty. I was in my casual sex era so I was definitely interested in hooking up with him again but my heart had been hardened to anything close to love/emotions/feelings. so I was prepared for it to be another small quick tryst. by the time he had officially ended things with that girl and made his move, I was in a semi-serious thing with another guy. that other guy was super not into us having multiple partners so out of respect to him (because he was kind and good) I cut off my other sexual partners.
and once again me and this dude had missed each other's open windows. I just know I could have fallen in love with him if we had dated.
anyways. over the next few years we stayed in touch on IG. he started dating someone else. our interactions have always been casual, never crossed any lines. but I have always had this feeling he misses me like I miss him. or miss what could have been.
cut to waking up this morning to this text from him. we haven't texted in close to 6 years. he said it was a drunk text. so how. how out of his list of people to text did he find my name and message me. it would have been starting a new conversation but this looks like a reply to someone.
maybe im over thinking it and I probably am. but like I said, I just wanted to talk it out with someone. im not trying to make any moves.