u/87932524

I got told by a person I hadn't seen for over 20 years who I bumped into on a walk earlier today that I have a lovely nature. These sort of compliments always bring up feelings of guilt and shame in me because every social interaction I have is unenjoyable and I put on a friendly mask in order for it to end as quickly as possible without any fuss. Just existing and wanting the bare minimum out of life makes me feel like a fraud. Once I retreat back to isolation the feelings slowly subside until eventually i've completely forgotten or until my next obligated interaction with another person, but I wish I could say I authentically had a lovely nature and it wasn't just a lie to fool the world.