u/716_To_617

Man this journey is wild. Went through my first egg retrieval this past Friday and had the follow up today about next steps. I was so negative and down about the whole process but after sitting with it for the past few days I can’t believe I’m going to do another cycle, but of course with a protocol change.

I’m 43, AMH 0.4, last cycle did clomid, menopur 75, gonal F 150 and suppression with ganerelix. Only got 2 eggs, both not mature.

Protocol change they are suggesting in priming with estradiol, then menopur 150, gonal f 450 and low dose lupron for suppression.

For those that have done this protocol or similar how did you feel? I felt like the clomid made me absolutely insane so hoping mentally this time would be better without it, esp since I now have some perspective on the process. Also with more volume in terms of 2 vials of menopur, the phy asst (of course I didn’t talk to my doctor lollll) mentioned basically using the gonal f as diluent, some diluent rather since I’m not sure what the volume of 450 would be, to basically consolidate the injections, has anyone done this and holy shit would’ve been nice to know the first time around!

My expectations are still low in terms of results but my husband and I just decided to see it through.

Any advice is appreciated!!

I have had such incredible mixed feelings about kids and doing IVF but finally decided at 43 that it’s now or never. I got married at 38 and we explored at that time what the fertility options would be and I was going to have to do IVF at that time also. Then the pandemic happened and just felt still so on the fence.

Fast forward to now and I took the plunge and went through with my first round and just honestly hated every second of it, the shots hurt, the hormones, the lack of care from these clinics, past two weeks have just really sucked. Went in for the egg retrieval yesterday and overall have a sense of relief.

I only got 3 follicles and I just have no expectations at all, it already feels like they are going to say do another round (which I hope would be in good faith) or going to say this isn’t worth it and I kind of just….don’t care? Like what is this apathy I’m feeling? Maybe the sense of relief is that by not doing IVF I would always wonder what if?

I don’t know I just feel very negative, apathetic and blah and it somehow feels like it’s the absolute incorrect response and feelings I should be having. Just wanted to share here to get it off my chest and rant to other ladies in their 40’s on this similar journey.

Potentially the wrong sub, but 43(F) here. I dragged my feet for years (clearly) and finally decided to try an IVF cycle. I’ve done two days of injections and already want to quit. This is the darkest and most isolating place I think I’ve ever been, on top of the hormones also causing the emotions to explode 10 fold, I did sleep a single minute last night, completely riddled with anxiety. Why am I putting myself through this (with the chances of success being very low) when I don’t even care if I have a kid or not? Maybe just typing this out answers the question I’ve had for years that maybe a kid is not for me? I don’t know. Like everyone here it’s about regret. If I don’t go through with this will I continue to wonder what if? I worry about my husband and I’s future, he’s an only child and my sister didn’t have kids so very very small family that I worry about being alone. But even two days into this I feel mentally and physically exhausted. And don’t get me started on how awful you’re treated as an IVF patient.