My boyfriend makes me feel unwanted sexually and I don’t know if I’m overreacting
My boyfriend and I have been together just over a year. He actually pursued me after we had briefly dated before and stayed friends.
A few months into the relationship he told me he had “no desire to be intimate” with me because he’s always preferred slimmer women. At the time I was around a UK size 14. That comment genuinely fucked me up, especially because I struggled with anorexia from age 13 and only recently started recovering and having a healthier relationship with food/body image.
Since then I’ve lost a lot of weight and I’m now around a UK size 10. I feel way better in myself now. I also know I’m attractive, this isn’t me begging for validation. I’ve always had male attention regardless of my size. But what he said still really affects me.
The issue is our sex life. We have sex all the time but I have literally never orgasmed with him once. I’ve explained loads of times that I need foreplay/clitoral stimulation because penetration alone does basically nothing for me. Sometimes he’ll give me oral for a few minutes but then he just wants sex and finishes within minutes. As soon as he cums it’s over.
I’ve asked him if he dislikes giving oral or focusing on me sexually and he says no, but nothing changes. Every time I try to talk about it, it turns into an argument or comes back to my insecurities/weight.
I don’t even need pornstar sex. I just want to feel like my partner actually cares whether I enjoy myself too. Instead I end up feeling used and unwanted after sex.
Outside of this our relationship is genuinely really good, which is why I feel so conflicted.
I don’t know if I am just too sensitive and this is normal or not