I miss my foreskin
Sorry for my English, it's not my first language.
I don’t think my feelings will be met with positive feedback on this sub but I still wanted to share and perhaps answer some questions for you guys who are interested in the changes and process that might be awaiting them.
When I was younger I had an adhesion which after being resolved by being ripped off by an urologist's thumb I discovered I had phimosis while erect. I stretched at age 15 but it never got very loose just enough to glide it up and down without choking my glans while pulled down. This got worse though after I started having rough intercourse with my ex-girlfriend. I foolishy tried to stretch it at the age of 24 but only made matters worse. The doctors in my country always spoke of only one option, circumcision, the word I didn't want to hear.
In my country circumcision isn't a regular occurence so the doctor's don't even acknowledge cut styles. I could've had a circumcision for free in my city where the doctors laughed in my face when I spoke of partial circumcision or steroid creams but I would have to go completely under and stay at the hospital for 3 days. Instead I chose to visit a private clinic where I had to pay and was out in 30 minutes. The clinic's doctors were aware of styles but didn't give an option to choose one so I lost more inner foreskin than I would've liked to. After I was really mentally down because this was something I never wanted.
After 2 months I started to massage it with scar gel to flatten the skin bumps. I succeeded but the scar line became uneven and there is still a hard lump under my skin where one of my veins used to be and as you can see in the second picture, there is a big flap of meat where my frenulum used to be and a bag of meat under it. I am praying it's swelling from massaging and masturbating so I am abstaining from both for some time to see if it changes.
Masturbation in the beginning was a blast. The orgasms were very intense but I think it was due to the long abstention. I miss gliding my foreskin up and down over my shiny glans and how good it felt. I loved the sexy natural look when I pulled it back. I could never do big strokes with my big hands and average penis but now the strokes are even smaller without lube. On the other hand I am 100% sex will be better now due to the loss of tension that I always felt and thought was normal but I am a little worried about the sensitivity during oral sex.
In the end all of life isn't about my penis but it still heavily impacted the horndog that is me. I just needed to vent so I won't dwell on this as much anymore.