Went a year without it. Tried moderation, yall know what happened. Started again, 1 month today and here’s what I’ve learnt with my experience
1 - I’ve learned the worst way possible that every time we go back, we go back worst. This last time I spent 45 days on relapse and drank in 12 occasions: look at the blank spaces between them, I was getting so sickening hangovers that I would need DAYS to recover, sometimes a week. I drank 5 bottles of wine in one day/night. I emptied a bottle of Jim Beam and woke up all bruised up because I fell. Didn’t even remember, my mind decided that that was what happened. I went to work drunk for the first time in my life. I managed to get out of the house to meet a girl ONCE: don’t remember anything about it, just that wasn’t good because I started drinking in the morning that day. Important point: all the other occasions I drank by myself at home. Loneliness and self pity mixed with alcohol and isolation. Great great combinations for suicidal thoughts.
2 - I need to keep it busy: working out, meeting friends, reading, writing, running, listening to music, watching movies. Feeling active and useful helps you understand that there’s life beyond alcohol and it’s amazing.
3 - money: if I keep drinking, I will die, and I will die in debt.
4 - I need to watch out for other compulsions: cigarettes, coffee, sex, porn, you gotta watch for those too, your mind will try to change your object of desire, so you gotta be on point with your character flaws and emotions.
5 - the blue book and meditation or praying: In MY case, the biggest part of my relapse was because I wasn’t going to meetings, wasn’t reading, wasn’t on meds or therapy. The more you distance yourself from that the more you think you don’t have a problem.
Bonus: set goals. Everybody needs something to look for, if they don’t, they get lost and mistake a shark for a life saving boat.