u/619970

Full context: I am the 28M and have cheated emotionally on my wife of almost 5 years on two different occasions.

The first one I was talking sexually to another male, back when we were engaged (2021). This was done through discord and it lasted a few sentences before I felt guilty and stopped. It should’ve never happened, but it did. She thankfully was able to forgive/forget and move on from it after some time. I still applaud her for that.

Just this Saturday night, she went through my phone when I was sleeping. Snapchat was opened up, and there was a private snapchat account that had NSFW picture on it (I believe. I can’t remember what was on the story). There was a saved picture that was a screenshot from a sexual website. She asked for an explanation and I gave it to her, semi honestly. The person posted “add this snap for more” and I did. The person sent me the pictures, and asked to send them back- I did. No conversation or anything occurred besides that. Of course, it doesn’t sound believable. I get this. Where I fcked up is not telling her that I knew the girl from college 10+ years ago. We flirted back then, but nothing since then and when I met my wife. So now I lied about not knowing her and had the pictures on my phone obviously. My wife did reach out to the girl, and the girl confirmed the story and thought it was an open relationship due to me adding the snap. Which I can understand.

My question is… where do I go from here. I wholeheartedly want to be with my wife. I was an absolute mfn idiot not only once, but twice, and I’m really kicking myself here. I don’t know why I did it. Boredom? Maybe. Stupidness? Definitely. But that’s not okay. She deserves more than that.

I am not looking for confirmation that I’m an idiot, I know this. I am looking on advice how I can become better, and hopefully move forward with this. She’s unsure what to do, and I understand that. She says she doesn’t want to leave, which again I commend her for, but I really want this last shot with her. She’s my everything and it’s killing me that I broke my best friend… again. We’ve been together 7 years, and I can’t believe I messed this up.

I already feel extremely low, and I’m trying to figure out how to earn her trust back. I won’t go down without a fight.

Full context: I am the 28M and have cheated emotionally on my wife of almost 5 years on two different occasions.

The first one I was talking sexually to another male, back when we were engaged (2021). This was done through discord and it lasted a few sentences before I felt guilty and stopped. It should’ve never happened, but it did. She thankfully was able to forgive/forget and move on from it after some time. I still applaud her for that.

Just this Saturday night, she went through my phone when I was sleeping. Snapchat was opened up, and there was a private snapchat account that had NSFW picture on it (I believe. I can’t remember what was on the story). There was a saved picture that was a screenshot from a sexual website. She asked for an explanation and I gave it to her, semi honestly. The person posted “add this snap for more” and I did. The person sent me the pictures, and asked to send them back- I did. No conversation or anything occurred besides that. Of course, it doesn’t sound believable. I get this. Where I fcked up is not telling her that I knew the girl from college 10+ years ago. We flirted back then, but nothing since then and when I met my wife. So now I lied about not knowing her and had the pictures on my phone obviously. My wife did reach out to the girl, and the girl confirmed the story and thought it was an open relationship due to me adding the snap. Which I can understand.

My question is… where do I go from here. I wholeheartedly want to be with my wife. I was an absolute mfn idiot not only once, but twice, and I’m really kicking myself here. I don’t know why I did it. Boredom? Maybe. Stupidness? Definitely. But that’s not okay. She deserves more than that.

I am not looking for confirmation that I’m an idiot, I know this. I am looking on advice how I can become better, and hopefully move forward with this. She’s unsure what to do, and I understand that. She says she doesn’t want to leave, which again I commend her for, but I really want this last shot with her. She’s my everything and it’s killing me that I broke my best friend… again. We’ve been together 7 years, and I can’t believe I messed this up.

I already feel extremely low, and I’m trying to figure out how to earn her trust back. I won’t go down without a fight.