u/617261671205

Çok kararsızım ailem gitmek istememe üzülüyor çünkü onların lise dönemi çok iyi geçmiş ama ben okuldaki kimseyi sevmiyorum. Diğer kızlar makyaj elbise fln tartışırken kıskanıyorum ama şimdi heves edip gitsem mal gibi orda durcam gibi geliyor. Kime söylesem git pişman olursun diyor.

Siz gittiniz mi/gitmediniz mi? Pişmanlık durumu yaşandı mı tavsiye lazım

I have panic attacks almost every day. When I don’t have them I still can’t breathe properly. I feel like I am on thin ice all the time and can only breathe the amount I need to live.

I weirdly feel calm when I hold my breath. I don’t why. I saw many docs they all said I was fine. What should I do?

SA(in the nightmare) mentioned briefly

My dreams usually happen in real life. But thats another topic in my dream I sent my friend texts and woke up before I could delete them. Then the next day she told me she got texts from me in her dream. I asked her what texts they were and wrote it down somewhere else before she answered to avoid plasebo (idk how to spell it) and she described all of them perfectly.

I had a nightmare once my boyfriend at that time came over my house, and tried to SA me but I called the police and stuff. He told me the next day in his dream he came over to my house but police took him but he doesn’t remember why.

Are these normal?

17F I used to hit myself with tools since bruises are easier to lie about rather than blade scars but I stopped that. I also used to starve myself but I also stopped that one too.

But recently I started to take meds (wrong or too much, I chose meds unconsciously and the first incident was an accident but the rest weren’t. Since meds have long term effects rather than short term it felt easier)

I am afraid I am gonna get addicted to it not just mentally but also physically so I want to stop. What’s hypocritical is that I do love myself and I don’t do it out of self hatred. I don’t know why I am doing this to be honest.

Long story short I want to stop and I would love some advice on how I can make it less hard.

Sorry for my english btw it’s not my first language.

17F I don’t even do it in the classic way, I keep taking too much meds or meds I don’t need. The effects distract me and make me feel something other than numbness. Also it’s not visible to others which keeps me out of trouble. But I am getting addicted and I don’t want to do that cuz it’s a hole I don’t want to go into. I don’t want to be dependent on it.

I am gonna go to a psychiatrist around ten days later but I literally had a very short coma and I have panic attacks a lot. Can’t even cry anymore I just can’t breathe. It feels like something is always holding my lungs and lets me breathe only the amount I need to live. I don’t know how to stop it.

And it’s the only thing that makes me feel like I can breathe even though its for a short time but it still makes me feel something.