It's my bf's birthday on Monday and we went up to see his family and friends for part of his birthday.
His friend since high school suggested we go out to dinner for his birthday and suggested this Mexican restaurant they're fond of. We agreed to it and went. The food was alright, we each got some drinks along with our meal and when the check came, they split the check for us to pay for our portion. My boyfriend didn't have a problem with it and was expecting that to be the case. Our bill came to $65 and he also gave a $10 tip. After dinner his friend suggested we go to this snow cone place and again, didn't offer to buy him his drink which was only $9 (we shared it).
His friend didn't get him any birthday gifts either. I don't think a person needs to get gifts, but I'd atleast understand not paying for food if he had gotten him a gift. After the dinner and snow cones we went back to their place and hung out until going to bed.
I find it very wrong his friend suggested dinner for his birthday and didn't even offer to pay for his meal. I could have paid for mine and I was expecting that. But he didn't pay for anything. It was him and his girlfriend we went out with.
My boyfriend didn't think much of it since we had a nice time, but I told him that's not the whole point. We aren't rolling in cash right now and even still we are paying for gas to go all the way up to the city which is an hour and a half away. He said perhaps they aren't doing good money-wise either and I countered that by saying they shouldn't have suggested eating out then. At the very most should have just gotten a pizza we all could share.
I find it very rude and inconsiderate for a friend to do that, but that's just how him and his friends are. Even going back to this other situation where another friend of his asked him to pick him and his wife up from the airport and he said yes. The airport is about 30 minutes away and their home is about 15 minutes away from our home, essentially going from end to end of the city and his friend did not offer to pay for gas (my bf drives a truck and it's awful for gas mileage, I drive an suv and it's somewhat better on gas, I had us drive my car to remedy a little).
Overall I find his friends and perhaps the friend dynamic to be very odd and weird. Both his friends and their partners are older than us too. I've given all the context to this situation. Am I an asshole for having a big issue with this stuff? My boyfriend understands where I'm coming from but he also doesn't find an issue with it himself because he values these friendships emotionally. How do I deal with this and his friends?