u/516li-

I have read the information in this sub and everything aligns with my significant other. I found this sub by googling: "My significant other wbpd keeps saying that she does not feel heard". I have been dating her 4 months and started seeing my own therapist 2 months ago, when I knew something was not quite right here and wanted to know what was going on . My therapist already began explaining this situation to me and told me that this is most likely my significant other's diagnosis.

The biggest problem that we currently face in our relationship is that she constantly keeps saying that she does not feel understood and does not feel heard either. To be more specific, we typically have a 2 minute conversation about something, and she expects me to immediately know exactly what is going on in the situation and know every detail. Its like she expects me to read her mind. Its always about something ridiculous. For example, we have a conversation about how she lost her apartment keys after she just moved into a new apartment. We discuss this for 2 minutes and while I am trying to figure out and understand what she is saying to me or the situation, I keep asking her questions so I can fully understand. I asked: "Which keys did you lose, were they your old apartment keys or your new apartment keys?" She tells me, the OLD apartment keys. I originally thought she lost the keys for her NEW apartment and was still trying to figure out what was going on. So I was thinking about it and I remembered that one of our friends had one of the spare keys for her old apartment and I asked her: "Couldn't we ask our friend for their key to return back to the landlord?" She immediately flips out telling me that she already mentioned this 2 minutes ago. Obviously, I did not remember her already mentioning that her friend had the spare key although she may have already mentioned it. I didn't even know which apartment she was talking about yet and I guess I missed that detail about the key while I was still trying to figure this out. However, when I asked her if we could just get the key from our friend, she immediately flipped out telling me that she already told me that she was planning on getting the spare key from our friend and that she does not feel understood and does not feel heard. This example keeps repeating over and over again in similar situations and she keeps saying that she does not feel heard. Another time, this happened when I accidentally forgot to bring her a water after she asked me to earlier. I told her that we were arguing about a bottle of water and this is ridiculous and she says "My feelings are ridiculous?" and this turns into an hour long argument about how its my fault that she does not feel heard. She keeps mentioning that we have made no progress and that I am at fault and now all of the sudden she is not sure if she is ready for a relationship. Then later she seems to let it go and it happens again, sometimes the next day.

My first question for everyone to start out is: Is it possible to stay in a relationship here? Can we get past this or is the same issue of not being heard never going to go away ever? So far I have tried various different things with mixed success and it sometimes drives me nuts. There are other issues like lots of text messages and her expecting me to text immediately when I was busy and in the middle of something. Im seeing a lot of negative posts here of people saying they left after 3 years or describing their past misfortunes. Are there any positive stories here about people staying together in the long term? What advice does everyone have for me?