Im set
Im 20m and ive been pretty set on ending things at 23 since 15, I dont want people to beg or say that the world is so great because it truly is and i cant deny that but I just want to throw it into the void so I dont think about it as much as I do anymore. I have my own studio that ive got recently and enjoy my life at a part time job but I see nothing beyond 23, i can always try to better myself but its a promise ive made myself and its something ive almost told co-workers multiple times but it'll just create me as the center of attention, i really really hate attention honestly, I enjoy following others and checking what they do over making my own decisions unless its necessary or helpful but beyond that im a steel trap. I dont have either parents in my life and I dont want anything to do with suicide watch or what not because i'll keep trying til its over, I enjoyed my life from birth til now besides the family drama and damage that has happened and the many relationships ive put my whole heart into as well as the one recently that has broke up with me after 3.5 years... and honestly I dont think thats ever going to change even if something horrible happens in the future, but I think just mentally I see no further point then 23 I guess. Once again just throwing it into the void because I doubt anyone I know would take me seriously and if they did they'd want me to get help which is something I dont want honestly, plus talking about it out loud beyond my own head is calming and just overall refreshing.