Location: New York
I am a transwoman, and on April 1st I lost my husband of 8½ years — a transman whom I loved deeply. I am grieving so hard and miss him more than words can say.
He passed away suddenly from an aortic dissection caused by undiagnosed Marfan syndrome. Two weeks ago I also learned that my son has Marfan syndrome, and he is now on medication. I am carrying all of this at once.
Unfortunately, the situation surrounding my husband's death has been made even more painful by his mother, who is transphobic though my husband and I never knew it was to this extreme. She was traveling with him through Kirkwood, New York when he died, and she made fraudulent statements to everyone involved. She kept me completely in the dark — I had to call 37 funeral homes just to find out where my husband was and I had to contact the New York state police to find my truck that she had driven to Pennsylvania after my husband died and left in a long-term storage at an airport there.
When I finally located him, it was too late. She had already ensured that his death certificate:
• Listed his birth name, which he detested — one of the happiest days of his life was legally changing it 8 years ago
• Contained a false version of my name
• Listed us as separated, when we absolutely were not
These errors are now the official record, and I need to file a petition with the New York Supreme Court to have them corrected. The death occurred in Broome County, NY. My husband and I lived together in northern New Hampshire.
I am very low income and have no idea how to navigate this process. If anyone has any experience with the New York Supreme Court, filing petitions to amend a death certificate, or knows of any legal aid resources — please, anything at all would help. Thank you so much. 💜