u/456wpc78nt

On bed at 1AM watching something in English, then stopped that and started listening to a Hindi song, and I swear my brain just can’t take it anymore.

I was born in Pakistan, then went back to Afghanistan and lived there for 7 years. Then moved to India to study, did my bachelors and masters there, then moved to Germany for work, then moved to the USA for a girl.

I’ve lived in all these places, learned their languages, tried to be one of them. I never wanted to be the black sheep. But now I feel like I’ve lost my identity. My food choices, music choices, clothes, hair, values, basically everything has turned into some freaking salad with no taste and no actual personality. Like I can literally eat anything now because my mouth has lost its taste buds and just gave up.

I don’t use social media much, but even the content I watch is so mixed. Rarely Afghan stuff. It’s all soccer, basketball, cricket, random politics from those countries, their humor, their culture. I’m not funny to any of them, but all of them are funny to me.

Sometimes I remember my mom saying “sang da jay khod sangeen” a stone is heavy in its own place. And damn, I feel that. I wish I belonged somewhere. I wish all the friends I made throughout my life could at least be in the same country so we could actually see each other. Everyone is scattered everywhere and I can barely keep in touch with anyone properly.

I got married into another culture too and that didn’t work out, now I’m going through divorce.

Sometimes I feel like writing a book about my life, but then I’m like wtf man, just have some peace in your head first before you start venting to the whole world about your personal issues.

Anyways, please tell me someone relates. Come on. Don’t tell me I’m unique lol. How does this affect your life? Is your Spotify or music app also shuffled with half a dozen languages and completely random vibes?

I 28M married to 24F for one year.

Two years ago I caught my wife having secret Instagram and following random guys, including my friends and cousins, she told me oh you are an Afghan toxic man and that’s why mom and sis told me don’t get engaged to this guy, he’d so possessive , so I kinda felt that and she said she deleted the account so we moved on.

After two years of that incident we are married now, it was Ramadan, she had an accident so I am soft Eng (hybrid), so I work the whole day, take care of the house, cooking, cleaning, her appointments, massage and ice her legs, move her around. But one day I felt she’s hiding something from me, and what I saw was, she has another Instagram account and she’s following my cousins and some guys from her university and constantly stalking them. I was shocked, felt like shit, kept a bit distance from her for a month, waited for her to recover, then I left the house.

The next day her family came to me, and her mom said you didn’t catch her naked with someone, and her brother was saying it’s normal, her sister was saying you didn’t deserve her, you wanted leave and this was an excuse for you.

Sisters, is this normal and acceptable??? And for brothers and sisters please if you are doing this, maybe this is reminder from Allah, focus on your partner.

Edit: our relationship has been kinda toxic. She screams and disrespects. Before this she left the house for 3 months because she was upset and after reconciliation she came back.