I recently married and went to the SSA office yesterday and changed my last name. When I got in the car to leave I realized the receipt they had given me had my name listed as my old/maiden last name. I got onto my SSA account today and it still had my old last name. Is it possible that they didn’t actually update it? Should the receipt have my new last name on it instead?
Every year when Mother’s Day rolls around I am reminded of the first Mother’s Day with my now MIL and how it was the first time I officially deemed her as a just no MIL. Let’s go back about 6 years, my now husband and I had been together about 6 months at this point. My parents live about 2 hours away from us and I went home to spend Mother’s Day with my mom but intended on coming back in the evening to join my husbands family for their Mother’s Day dinner. The previous weekend, my husband and his brothers asked MIL where she would like to go for dinner and she told them she just wanted to pick up Chipotle and eat it together at home. This was surprising to all of us as she is usually a very bougie individual so her sons asked her if she was sure and she confirmed that was what she wanted. Fast forward to Mother’s Day, I’m still out of state at my parents and my now husband calls me clearly distraught. I asked him what was wrong and he tearily told me he felt like an awful son and that he couldn’t make his mom happy. He had gone to their house in the morning to spend the day with her and apparently she spent the entire fucking day being hella passive aggressive about the Chipotle dinner plans and implying her sons didn’t care about her because they didn’t want to take her somewhere nicer. Shortly after the phone call, my husband let me know that his older brother finally just outright asked her where she wanted to go instead and they changed the plan to Ruth’s Chris (which they had seen her very openly looking at the menu of while sitting at the kitchen table on her laptop during her temper tantrum) My poor, sweet husband who wears his heart on his sleeve was raised to be a people pleaser and his parents are very much the kind to depend on their children to determine their happiness…. So her making comments all day after they were just doing what she asked, was confusing and so hurtful to him because he wanted so badly for her to enjoy her day. Obviously this is something we talked through many times and he has and continues to work through in therapy. I was unsure how to feel about his parents at the beginning of our relationship and that is really what locked it in for me that MIL was not my fave and is not the type of mother I would everrrrr want to be. Many things have continued to happen over the years that just solidify and reinforce that for me. So cheers to now limiting our time spent with her on Mother’s Day to brunch only for a max of 2 hours! Peace and blessings to all of you also spending this Sunday with your JNMIL 🤍