Hi all, I (28F) am the youngest sibling of my family of origin. I come from a blue collar, evangelical household. I am currently in the final year of a doctorate program, and am also single and childfree. I very recently accepted that marriage & kids will not be happening for me (for personal reasons that are unrelated to this topic).
Over the past several years, I have attended and/or been a bridesmaid/MOH for many weddings. I have spent money on gifts for these events as well. I have also spent a ton of money that I do not really have on baby shower gifts. My older brother and older sister now have 6 kids in total, all under the age of 5. I have accepted that I likely will never see any return on the money/time I have invested into these events.
For reference, my oldest sibling (34M) does not reciprocate for me. He has “helped” me out with small financial favors in the past, but I have since invested that same amount back into his kids.
My older sister (31F) struggles more financially, but has “helped” me as well. I feel as if I had a better relationship with her when we were children than I did with my brother. I have also invested the same amount into her kids that she has invested into me.
This goes without saying, I care deeply about all of the kids and spend time with them as much as I can, especially since my sister is financially unstable and my brother is a workaholic.
For the sake of my own mental health, I cannot keep giving while feeling a lack of reciprocation. This is a problem I have had since childhood, and in addition I am also taking care of my parents. WIBTA if I stopped buying gifts for my 6 nieces and nephews, at least temporarily?
EDIT: I do spend a lot of time with my nieces and nephews, because I think it is more important that they have a healthy role model in their lives — I am not heartless lol. Did not think this edit even needed to be added because I thought it was assumed.
EDIT #2: the weddings, baby showers, birthday parties I previously attended/bought gifts for… that was out of the kindness of my own heart and I accepted at that time I wouldn’t see any return on that. Doesn’t mean I can’t still be hurt by chronic imbalance in my relationships.