u/404feminine

i’m not a teenage boy obsessed with clavicular, i’m a 19 y.o. girl. i’ve always thought i was pretty, i was scouted and told “you should model!” since i was 10.

but ever since all these ratings, stacy/becky, ratios, gonial angles, midfaces, canthal tilts became popular, i genuinely can’t stop obsessing over it. i constantly compare myself to supermodels, trying to understand the difference between “normal pretty” and “wow effect.”

the thing is i’ve always valued beauty so much. i used to stare at women like megan fox, barbara palvin, taylor hill in awe long before i even knew what “lookism” was. but now it feels like there’s some kind of formula, some magic pill that can turn you into that kind of “wow” girl - even if it was invented by lonely boys on forums.

it’s honestly exhausting. when i look in the mirror now, i don’t see a pretty girl like i used to - i see every individual feature separately. i’ve started noticing that i seek compliments and reassurance. i study remotely, so i have way too much free time to spend on makeup, workouts, facial massages, cosmetologists, analyzing myself in the mirror, making “improvement” plans, reorganizing my wardrobe, etc - basically everything revolves around being beautiful. i just want to be beautiful.

i don’t even know why i’m this obsessed, no one has ever told me i’m ugly or anything. at most, men online have said things like “too much makeup/filler/looks like an escort,” even though i literally have no filler

i hope this doesn’t sound like some pubescent stream of consciousness, just try to understand a sensitive soul 😭 i feel like there are a lot of people who value aesthetics deeply too, especially nowadays. how do you stop obsessing over this?