u/3nerds_inaTrenchcoat

We have just gone official with someone that I (Em) really like, but it's difficult for some alters. Most of us really like this person. She's kind, caring, and very compassionate.

...which is the problem for a couple of them. There's one (who I will simply label "C" as it's not a name we've ever gone by publicly) who has some more antisocial tendencies and actively pushes away the feeling of compassion. They had to find a way to deal with the death and suffering that our mom's pets suffered when we were a child, so they chose to desensitize themself to death in general by looking at things that we really shouldn't have seen online at that age.

It worked very well, and it barely takes any effort on their part to push the feeling away at this point. However, this has had the unfortunate side effect of them now thinking that compassion is irritating when others exhibit it.

Since our new partner is very compassionate, C gets irritated very quickly, especially if they may be expected to be compassionate in return.

Also, our partner is a Radical Leftist, and some of my alters are not aligned with that fully. Her friends are also the same as her in this regard, and many of them will make rather aggressive jokes about how much they dislike people who agree with things that these alters believe. Our partner is aware of these alters and is much more mindful of that than she was at first, but those alters feel a little unwelcome around her friends.

I honestly think that the only reason I could get us to agree on dating her is because of the fact that she is polyamorous, which leaves space for us to date someone that other alters may be happier around.

But, there's another problem. I do not like C's type (people with antisocial tendencies). The preferred politics that the others would like someone to have are not something that I'm too fond of.

If only I could control switches better, and if I could just black out on command. Then I wouldn't have to worry about C's type. Sadly, that is out of my control though.

Anyways. Any tips on how to manage dating as a system would be appreciated lol