u/3catsNoRules907

This community was so so helpful to me after my 25 week loss in 2022. I am so sorry we are all here. There is no hurt like this hurt.

Today was my first day back at work at our towns flagship hospital after we found out our boy was gone on 4/16 during a routine ultrasound.He had passed in the middle of the 15th week but we found out at 17w2d. I saw him for the first time, did all of his appointments , and delivered him gone all about 100 feet from where I work every day. It was so hard to walk back through those doors not pregnant.

I think I wanted to believe that because I’d had one late loss, that was it. Now doctors would be watching me, we had a treatment plan, and this couldn’t happen again. Of course that’s just not the way it works. For all you recurrent loss families, I see you.

Because of the intensity of prior loss, and the complications with my living son’s birth, and maybe because I’m relatively connected in local healthcare, we had a lot of doctors —at least 11 that I can think of —reviewing our chart, texting me personally, following our case and rooting for us.

What hurts so much is that it still wasn’t enough. in my short pregnancy. I believe hundreds of physician eyes were on my many many ultrasounds for a kid that was measuring 2 weeks ahead and passing every test with flying colors. Unfortunately my lovenox dosage was just not right and the placenta filled with clots and we lost him just when we thought things were evening out.

I just feel right now that the state of maternal fetal medicine is “broken.”In sharing my story today, I met a woman who has lost 19 pregnancies. Can you imagine if we told a cancer patient to expect 19 rounds of chemo? Who was the last person you met who spent 6 years trying to get their broken arm fixed the way I’ve spent 6 years trying to have kids? “Wait and see,” “keep trying,” and “we cannot find a medical reason” are not good enough. This is not good enough. This branch of healthcare just feels really inadequate and I am so sorry for my family and all the other families that didn’t get what they deserve.

I have unfortunately just gone through the hell of a 2nd second trimester loss due to APS . I am single antibody positive but only in pregnancy. I live very rurally and am looking to fly to see a hemotologist or rheumatologist who can give my team better guidance for future pregnancy. Although I had a live birth with lovenox & aspirin 2yrs ago , in this pregnancy we had to hold anticoagulants for a time due to unexpected surgery.the gamble just didn’t work out, and I don’t think my well meaning team has the breath of anticoagulant knowledge we need for a future pregnancy. I’m looking for any physician or medical group you might know who’s been helpful to people like me. Pacific Northwest would be ideal but I can fly anywhere.

All my love to all of us dealing with this diagnosis and wishing you each success in your journies!

Hello all,

I have just gone through the heartbreak of a 2nd second trimester loss due to APS . I am single antibody positive but only in pregnancy. I live very rurally and am looking to fly to see a hemotologist or rheumatologist who can give my team better guidance for future pregnancy. Although I had a live birth with lovenox & aspirin 2yrs ago , we had to hold anticoagulants for a time due to unexpected surgery in this pregnancy and the gamble just didn’t work out. I’m looking for any physician or medical group you might know who’s been helpful to people like me. Pacific Northwest would be ideal but I can fly anywhere.

All my love to all of us dealing with this diagnosis and wishing you each success in your journies!