i fear i am so lost, confused, and hurt that i can’t view my situation objectively, so i am looking for advice.
my boyfriend and i have been dating for a year. we both had intentions of going to graduate school and both applied the same time. we tried to aim for schools that were close together so we could continue the relationship if we wished.
unfortunately, i did not get into any programs this year. however, he was waitlisted for a while until he was accepted about a week ago. for a while i was starting to figure out how we could have a future, until he told me he got in. i am obviously so happy for him, but it meant we would break up if we didn’t get into programs near each other.
when we started dating he wasn’t awesome with communication and often when he was upset i would sense it, but he wouldn’t communicate. i never wanted to pry him to speak about anything, but he was the type to deal with it himself/ think about it until he knew he wanted to talk about it. also it just isn’t the time for us to move in together, so that it why we can’t continue to pursue a relationship.
he told me he was going to accept admission right before our anniversary date and i was so distraught that we missed the reservation.
however now, we are contemplating what our relationship will look like when he goes to school. since i am not in school i feel like i will have more free time and less distraction, so i feel like it may take me more time to get over it. we discussed what could happen and i said i would like to date until he leaves. he started to bring up breaking up and never talking again which really upset me and left me confused as he expressed wanting to stay my friend when he left. i told him i felt like i was being pulled around which wasn’t fair to me, but we decided to date until he leaves. he also wanted me to negotiate terms of dating, which felt weird because i want to have a relationship where we both are happy.
what i am not sure about is how we will be friends. since he doesn’t communicate well, it is amplified over text. i asked about boundaries with this move, like if i should talk to him about how i feel towards him and how i am doing, but he said he likely wouldn’t do it back.
i honestly dont know if its worth it. i care about him a lot and he showed me my worthiness and helped me through so much, but i can’t figure out if this will work or not.