u/34mikemike

I recently buried my grandmother last Wednesday then help put on an engagement party for my younger brother on the following Friday (party was planned well in advance of my grandmother’s passing). This past week has really left me emotionally exhausted, mixed up, and so incredibly lonely. Seeing how deeply in love my grandparents were (married for 63 years) and seeing the blossoming love between my brother and his new fiancée really has me feeling hopeless for myself. I’m 35, 1 divorce (2016), and 1 failed engagement (2024). I currently don’t have any romantic prospects and all of my close friends are married with children. I feel like I’m am regressing or failing at romance and that I’ll never have a family of my own. I keep thinking about when I die that I will most likely die alone and how even when I was married, my parents never threw an engagement party for me or even did half the things they’ve done for my brother. I’m not jealous or upset with my brother, I’m actually very happy for him and want nothing but the best for him…but on the other side of that coin I can’t help but feel sad. So much love and affection was essentially rubbed in my face and it’s wrecking me. In time I’m sure this will emotionally scab over and I’ll be back to feeling some sort of normal because it’s happened in the past but this time just seems harder.