Triggered to jealousy at work
I was one of many children in the house and I am realizing that one of the deep ACOA triggers I have is grounded in striving to be less neglected and unwanted.
I am looking for advice or references to ACOA literature that might help.
As an adult; this old wound sets me up to be jealous and resentful of peers at work or in other parts of my life who are getting attention from authority figures that I want or that I think they have not "earned."
I am 55 years old and it is *awful* to be struggling with this still. The emotional tension, or strangeness, if the dynamic I am bringing to work is hard to explain but everyone around me feels it to some extent.
When I had closer relationships in other parts of my life this kind of resentment built up to internalized rage that was oppressive. I regret to say that I think it is only less intense now because I don't really have friends or aspire to closeness with people anymore.
I've been looking through the Big Red Book for advice. When I am quick enough to perceive this is happening I use the LPG "takeover" strategies but this is one trigger I tend to be very far activated by before I notice it.
Anyone have experience to share - advice, strategies?