Hello everyone. I am not sure if this is the right forum to post - feel free to call me out if you think this shouldn't be on here. My son is 2 (quad dystonic and spastic CP, likely going to be nonverbal. He is on the more severe end). He laughs at everything I do though and honestly that's all I need to keep going. His smile and laughter lights up my world.
I don't want to go into details. His CP was caused by medical negligence but perhaps could have been avoided had I acted earlier. Some days I cannot bear the thought that I may have had a role to play in my boy's condition. We are doing everything in our capacity now to give him a good life and be his champions (early intervention, therapies, loving him to bits, encouraging him to explore and play but also respecting when he needs to stop) but in my heart I can't help but constantly ask for forgiveness from him. Like I let him down.
It is also hard not to worry all the time. Worry for his well being, for his future, worry every single time he coughs or his appetite drops. I love him so much - watching him struggle breaks my heart, sometimes rendering me borderline dysfunctional. And I'm fully aware I should not be passing my trauma on to him. I would like to create a loving, nurturing environment at home because hope and optimism is the fuel his engine needs. Everyone needs it but I know he will need it more than others.
Is there anything you all would like to say? My question is open to parents as well as folks here. Please help me support my baby. He's wonderful and deserves nothing but the best.