I am reaching out because my family is currently acting like I am some kind of cold hearted villain and I need to know if I am actually in the wrong here. I have a younger brother who is 24 and honestly he is a total nightmare when it comes to driving. He treats every road like a racetrack and has zero regard for his vehicle or anyone elses safety. In the last two years he has been in three significant accidents that were all clearly his fault due to speeding or aggressive driving.
The first two times it happened our parents stepped in and paid for the repairs because they didnt want him to lose his job or be stranded. I even chipped in a bit the second time because I felt bad for him. However I made it very clear back then that it was a one time thing and he needed to start taking responsibility. Well last week he totaled his front end again while trying to overtake someone on a narrow road. Now he is looking at a massive repair bill that he cannot afford because he spends all his money on gaming setups and going out.
My parents are now retired and on a fixed income so they cannot help him this time. They came to me and basically expected me to cover the costs since I have a stable engineering job and some savings. I flat out said no. I told them that bailng him out again just teaches him that there are no consequences for his reckless behavior. My brother is now calling me "elitist" and saying that I am holding my success over his head while my mom is crying saying that family should always be there for each other no matter what. I offered to help him look for a cheap bicycle or show him how to use the bus app but that just made everyone angrier. Am I being a heartless jerk for letting him deal with the mess he created or am I right to set a boundary here?