24 year old male. ED and PFD. (Long read)
So this is going to be very long, but I’m gonna give it a shot, and hope someone reads this. So, ever since I was a teen, my dick, has not worked normally, which I discover more and more as I figure out this whole thing. It never worked normally, and when when I thought it did, it didn’t.
When I was a teen, I obviously didn’t have full blown Ed. My penis would get rock hard, and I was able to have sex normally. However, there were some caveats. I wish I looked into this sooner, it wasn’t 100% normal. For instance, sometimes, if the sessions were long, there would be sometimes when changing positions, I would lose some of my erection. It wasn’t immediate, but it wouldn’t stay 100% erect. I thought this was normal obviously and when this did happen, my gf at the time wouldn’t think anything of it because we were each others first, so we would normally just take a break and do oral and go right back to it. I just thought this was part of sex, that when you stop intercourse, it was supposed to go down and it wasn’t a big deal. However I didn’t realize this was abnormal or an early warning sign.
I also was not able to go another round after the first, or sometimes at all. After one round and after ejaculating, my dick would go soft and would feel sore after, and couldn’t get a comfortable, fully hard erection after. So it always blew my mind hearing my buddies talk about going for a round 2,or even more than that right away , and in the same day. In my mind that wasn’t possible. Hell, my refractory period lasted hours or even a whole day sometimes. I didn’t realize, your dick shouldn’t feel hurt or sore after an orgasm, and it shouldn’t feel like the next erection should be painful or impossible after the first round, but for me, it always did.
As a teen my erections were rock hard and didn’t take that much to maintain, however, I do recall that sometimes I noticed clenching or kegaling would temporarily harden my erection even further and would sometimes make ejaculation even better, so sometimes, I would clench, only sometimes. I just thought it was a harmless technique that every dude knew about and that it wasn’t anything serious, and would make orgamsms and erections more intense.
Fast forward to two years ago, I’m 22,haven’t been with anyone for years due to stress and anxiety, and I start to notice extreme sexual dysfunction. Morning/spontaneous erections were rare and were about 80% hard and didn’t last.
My dick just seems to be in hibernation, hell it didn’t even look the same. It started to not hang as low and long, didn’t feel as soft, and wouldn’t get as big as it used to when erect, I knew I had a issue, and got my hormones checked and my doctors waved it off. Fast forward to last summer, nothing improved and I found out I had a prolactinoma and that could’ve been causing my issues. Ofc to my luck, I meet an amazing girl right when I get diagnosed. She ofc, caught me at the worst possible time ever, I have pretty bad ed at 24, and this awesome girl wants to date.
Ofc I went for it, thought it would go away with her, turns out it didn’t. She’s been exposed to my ed our entire relationship, she’s supportive and has been amazing, but of course it still bothers me. Me losing my erection halfway through or during position changes or even for anxiety reasons was a total foreign concept to her. Discovering all of this does make me very insecure about my sexual capabilities and I just can’t believe I’m dealing with this at such a young age. Even when I was younger and my ed wasn’t even bad, I still thought it was normal to not have a rock hard boner 100%, but discovering now that’s it’s not normal is kind of mind blowing.
So after months of my doctors running tests and figuring stuff out, I started cabergoline in February, to control prolactin, and I will say, though things have improved, my ed hasn’t really improved all that much. My sex drive is naturally very high, but I feel as though sexual urges and thoughts sometimes turn frustrating due to the fact I realize I have this issue. I’ll get horny and the shortly after realize why does it even matter that I’m horny when I have Ed. I am able to have sex with my girlfriend. With foreplay and some warm up time we normally could go for like 5-7 minutes the first around, even though my erection sometimes fluctuates. However, still no luck on going multiple rounds and for a long time, which sucks…. Especially when you really really want to go again, it sucks knowing you physically can’t.
So I finally think I found another contributing aspect to this issue I’ve seen to have my whole life, and I think it’s PFD.
I have realized, I am fully clenched and tight, all the time, it’s actually crazy. When driving the sit down or stand up forklift at work, clenched. When sitting or laying down clenched. When laying down, clenched.
When driving, clenched. When lifting something heavy, clenched. Hell, even walking, I’m clenched. My back, hips, quads, thighs, and glutes are so weak, rigid and tight, and I genuinely never seemed to care because I didn’t think it cause ed, and I figured it was part of growing up to have these issues. My lower back feels like it could snap due to constant tension all the time, the middle of my spine sometimes hurts, my inner thighs hurt, and my glutes are always clenched.
I can’t belive I’ve lived my whole life like this, the reason I feel this is also causing my ed is because I feel the need to tense or clench when getting an erection, and that always makes It harder, but maintaining that during intercourse is impossible. When I’m fully relaxed , my erections don’t feel like real erections, but the problem is, that’s how you get erections, but I physically can’t maintain one when relaxed, I almost forgot what that feels like. It’s actually crazy. Like rn, I’ll get to like 60-70% erect relaxed, but it won’t surpass that, it’s like somethings blocking it from getting to that 100%. It feels like there’s less sensation down there too. Like I could squeeze the tip of my dick and not feel anything. It’s scary.
My urinary function for the past 3 years has been horrible. I have to strain sometimes to get urine out, sometimes have to actually squeeze my penis. If I drink a healthy amount of water I’m pissing all day long, like minutes apart, and even then it often times doesn’t feel like it’s fully emptied. It feels like my urine will just sit stationary at the tip of my penis forever if I don’t manually try to release it. So now I think, how could my penis function properly sexually, if I can’t even piss properly?? Everything down there feels so broken and I can’t help but think this might be the last thing to help my ed, considering my hormones are slowly recovering. Can anyone tell me what to do next and if I’m damaged permanently? At this point, not only do I want my ed to go away, but it would be nice to piss normally also.