I have crafted the most magnificent story in history. The beginning is extremely gripping, the plot twist is totally unexpected, and the resolution will leave the reader speechless.
However, I fear that readers do not have an appropriate attention span to finish reading the story. My masterpiece may be completely wasted on humans who have not reached the intellectual level required to read this literary work of art.
Hi, new writer here, I want to get feedback on a single paragraph I've made, because that's the only part that's ready for critique 😆 anyway here it is :
Fireworks erupted incessantly, causing a cacophony of cracks and blinding streaks of light in the sky. Each firework was a vibrant, exuberant show of sparks, every colour wildly different and unique from the others. Yet, the stark contrast of shades didn't cause one to outshine another; rather, all the colours complemented each other to create one beautiful, harmonious symphony.
I really love this paragraph, and because of that, I have an insatiable desire for it to be perfect, even though it's only the first draft. So I can't help wondering:
Am I using too many fancy words in a single paragraph? (e.g. incessant, exuberant, cacophony.) Is it too jarring? Should I use simpler prose for easier reading? (For example, instead of 'Fireworks eruputed incessantly' should I say 'Fireworks erupted continuously' instead?
Am I using too many adjectives? (e.g. 'wildly different and unique', when just saying 'unique' would still do the job. And others like 'harmonious symphony', should I just say 'symphony' because that word alone implies harmony.)
I don't know if my instinct to trim it down is correct, or if I'm just second guessing myself. What are your thoughts?