I want to finally make a change and "make it".
So I started to count calories.
I counted a day with a birthday party first. I mean I knew it would be way more than what I should eat, but it was almost double the amount and I didn't even feel full! 😭
So today I made a plan to eat just the appropriate amount and I feel so unsatisfied and empty.
Normally I would get a big bowl of cereals or sweets or crackers now because I feel bad.
I already counted what I want to eat for dinner so snacking more than like a single piece of chocolate would be just too much. And it's already very little carbs today.
And this should be my life now! Having a piece of cake at a party would like only be possible if I train for an hour or skip breakfast instead.
I'm not even actively enjoying food most times, I can totally eat something that's not my favourite thing, binge on anything when what I like is not in the house.
Yet food is all I can think about, having to eat less, having to cut hard on everything unhealthy.
Like eating is my hobby and safe space, not being able to eat (what/as much as I want) seems so crazy.
But I think I have to pull through it.
This is the bad feelings I have to learn to process without food right?