How close is too close with a cousin? Feeling uncomfortable but unsure if I’m overthinking
Hi everyone, I (28F) have been dating my boyfriend (27M) for over 3 years. We have a great relationship, both families are involved, and we’re planning to get married next year.
I spend a lot of time with his family because he includes me in everything. They’re very warm and physically affectionate people (hugs, cheek kisses, etc.), which is quite different from my family.
He has a female cousin (21/22), and they grew up together but weren’t very close for a few years due to family issues. Even now, they don’t really talk much, they meet maybe once in 6 months or even once a year, and don’t stay in touch regularly.
On family trips, since we’re the youngest, the three of us sometimes end up sharing a bed. My boyfriend sleeps in the middle, with me on one side and her on the other.
What makes me uncomfortable is that while sleeping, they’re casually physically affectionate, like he might rest his hand on her in a relaxed/hug-like way, or she might put her arm over him or rub his shoulder. It doesn’t seem intentional or inappropriate, and he’s also holding or hugging me at the same time, but something about it still feels off to me.
I’ve spoken to him about it, but he thinks I’m overthinking and viewing it in a weird way. From his perspective, it’s just normal family affection. (Which I agree to considering their family dynamics and also the fact that my boyfriend would probably do the same to anyone else sleeping beside him as well)
I’m not sure if this is just a difference in upbringing (since my family isn’t physically expressive at all), or if my discomfort is actually valid.
Would really appreciate honest opinions, am I overreacting here?
TL;DR:
Boyfriend is casually physically affectionate with his adult cousin while sleeping (on shared family trips), even though they rarely meet or talk otherwise. Nothing explicitly inappropriate, but it makes me uncomfortable. He thinks I’m overthinking, am I?
Edit 1 - also please note, the said cousin seems like a genuinely nice person and she is nice towards me also. We 3 do also have a lot of fun together.