My girlfriend (22) has struggled with an eating disorder for years, and I (25) have been deeply concerned about her for a long time now. I used to handle it poorly — I used to be very straightforward and confrontational about it but over time I learned that approach usually doesn’t help and it just creates space between us. I learned how to be more understanding and careful with how I communicate about these things with her.
4 months ago, her doctor prescribed her GLP-1 (Mounjaro) for PCOS and prediabetes. I’m not against the medication itself. I actually supported her taking it, but only as long as it was being used properly and safely under medical supervision. What worries me is that ever since she started taking it, I feel like a lot of her ED thoughts have become much more intense again. There have been times where she almost treats the appetite suppression like a challenge — testing how long she can go without feeling hungry or without eating properly. I know the goal of these medications isn’t to starve yourself, of course your body still needs nutrients and adequate intake even if you’re less hungry.
There was this one time where she became extremely anxious at the thought that her doctor might eventually stop prescribing the medication if she no longer medically needed it. I calmly told her that of course the medication would probably be discontinued at some point if it meant she was getting better and didn’t need it anymore, but instead of feeling reassured, she panicked because to her that also meant the weight loss might stop. That honestly worried me a lot. It feels less like “wanting to be healthy” and more like wanting to become as thin as possible at any cost.
What makes this difficult is that she already knows where I stand. Even though I’ve tried to approach everything gently and carefully, that doesn’t mean I’m okay with what’s happening. I worry that maybe I’m being too lenient or not saying enough. But at the same time, I’m also scared that if I push too hard or say the wrong thing, I might just push her further away from me or make her shut down completely. At the end of the day, this is still an eating disorder, and I know disorders like this can distort the way someone sees themselves, their health, and even the concern coming from the people around them. I don’t want to be controlling or forceful. But honestly, I keep questioning myself and wondering if I’m handling this the right way or if I’m somehow failing her. I feel completely lost. I don’t know how to communicate this in a way that actually gets through to her.
More than anything, I’m just genuinely worried about my girlfriend’s wellbeing. I care about her a lot and this has been weighing on me heavily for now. What should I do?
Thank you to whoever answers.
Tldr: My girlfriend has an ED and I’m extremely worried about her. What should I do? How should I talk to her? Is there anything I can do? What’s the best way to help?