TW!! I thought I was coping ok. / New pregnancy
Hi guys I just needed to get this off my chest as I feel so fucking alone, I am currently 7 weeks pregnant after losing my beautiful baby boy in December and I haven’t cried this bad / panic attacks since about 2 months ago but I feel very very fragile today , basically I went for a scan yesterday they’ve offered me vaginal progesterone so I said yes but anyways I had to go back to the hospital to pick up my prescription and it was right where I lost my boy. I felt I couldn’t breathe as soon as I walked in there I had knots in my throat and I went and got out and speed walked out of there as fast as I could and I literally broke down in tears in the carpark and walked about 3 minutes crying to my car , people staring at me asking if I’m okay I just ignored them because I could feel what’s coming and I got to my car I sat in and I fucking broke down the worst I have yet, I had a panic attack I honestly could not breathe, I was hysterical.
I did not think it would hit me like that, I miss him so much I thought I was doing okay, I finally got to the point where I think of him everyday and I smile but also feed sad but not cry and now I’m back to stage 1. Im pregnant again and all I want is my baby boy back.