Went on our morning walk (me, 4yo, 9week old) just like normal. Halfway on the bike path (usually only pass a few runners on the whole mile) there were 2 large dogs, no human in sight. They were very dirty and one was very nervous. The other just sitting and staring at us. If it was just me, I would have offered water and seen if they were friendly enough to leash and take in to the rescue. Not so confident with littles. A runner went by and skittish dog ran away and the sittting dog kept sitting. My son was whining about the park and I watched the sitting dog get up and walk with a pretty severe limp/arthritis/hip displaysia, only go a few steps, and sit down and whine. I figured it was safe enough to pass and we walked by no problem. But I felt horrible for the dogs and called the local rescue to hopefully pick them up.
We played at the park and then, on the walk home, I stepped in a divet and twisted my ankle. I was holding on to the stroller with the baby in a bassinet, and I almost fell all the way down. I pushed down on the stroller handle as I tripped and the stroller went down and she bounced up pretty high as the stroller slammed back down.
I limped the mile home and just felt like I was keeping an anxiety attack at bay. I was very short with my son's incessant questions and curiosity. I couldn't stop thinking about the what-ifs. What if those dogs had attacked? What if I fell and knocked the stroller over and the baby fell out? What if I broke my ankle again, but it was with the kids and no one around to help?
This was my first anxiety episode this 4th trimester. I had a lot with my first and now I am not only struggling with the what-ifs but also the concern that maybe I won't make it through this baby without PPD.