First time attending an Al Anon meeting and wasn't impressed, here's what happened
I attended my first-ever Al-Anon meeting last week. It was held in a church, and about 20 women showed up, ranging from young adults to women in their 70s.
We took turns saying our first names, and each time the group would respond by saying “Hi” followed by the person’s name. So we repeated this about 20 times. I thought it was a bit odd.
Then we took turns reading what I believe were the 12 Steps. At that moment, I remember thinking that I wasn’t at an AA meeting, and again, I found it a little strange.
The woman facilitating the meeting read what seemed to be rules or guidelines at the beginning. After everything was done, she said that anyone who wanted could go into another room for the newcomers’ meeting.
Five of us went. One of the women said she would facilitate that meeting. Since the entire meeting lasts 60 minutes, we only had about 25 minutes in the other room.
I was under the impression that the facilitator would explain how Al-Anon works, but it turned out I was the only first-timer. The other five women had been attending weekly meetings for anywhere from three months to nine years, which surprised me.
The facilitator then started telling her story, and she went on and on. All I could think was: “Will I get a chance to talk? Will everyone have time to speak?” I had assumed a facilitator would encourage discussion and explain what Al-Anon is about. It was a bit discouraging.
When I finally got my chance to speak, I wasn’t even finished before someone interrupted me. That was disappointing.
At the end, we rejoined the other women. I learned that in the main room they discuss a weekly topic. There were only about five minutes left, and everyone held hands and prayed. I found that bizarre since they said Al-Anon is non-religious.
Another thing that bothered me was that they passed a bag around asking for donations, even though I had read that Al-Anon is free.
At the end of the meeting, I was under the impression that the women would stay and talk with one another, but most of them left quickly. I did have the chance to speak briefly with one person, but when I left, I wondered whether I should go back.
They recommend attending six meetings before deciding whether to quit.
Are all Al-Anon meetings like the one I attended?