Hey everyone, I’m posting this due to a situation that happened just yesterday involving my girlfriend and a man on a motorcycle last afternoon/night.
(Reposting on here because r/motorcycles felt the need to delete)
Need to know AITA, if this is normal behavior, and maybe what to do in case the situation changes or happens again. (Hopefully not)
It all happens with a phone call, and luckily I am at home. It’s my early day off, I’m unwinding catching up with the newest episode of the boys, when my girlfriend calls me and says “hey babe can you come outside, a man on a motorcycle followed me home and he is at the driveway”.
So without thinking, I hang up the call, rush downstairs and confront a 20 year old something who is blocking my girlfriend from our house. Context I’m 28M and she is 27M.
Immediately I’m yelling at him asking why he is following my girlfriend. He try’s to get a word in, but I shut it down pretty quickly. Because in my opinion there is no conversation after following a woman home, right or wrong. And I tell him that as well.
Although I’m angry, and mostly yelling , I explain to him what could have happened if I had been someone else. I am a pretty patient person (I’m a teacher, also ride bikes on my free time, and overall a kind person). But to encroach on someone’s space and follow them a few miles from the parkway to the culdesac of our house put me over the top.
I told him a few other things, nothing threatening but ensuring he knows the gravity of his decisions. Especially as a man, you should never follow a women home. Honestly, what was he hoping to achieve?
By the end of it he started apologizing, and as I calmed down, I started taking pictures of him and his plates. I told him to leave before I called the police and then checked on my girlfriend who was pretty shaken.
After it all settled, I talked to my girlfriend about how it occurred. She says she thought maybe she cut him off and he got upset over that. She entered the parkway leaving a store and made sure she was okay to go before she did so. But maybe she didn’t see him or he was going to fast. He then began revving his engine and pulled right behind her after she got into the parkway.
She turned left, went to the right lane to give him space and let him go ahead. But he slowed down and made sure to be behind her. She thought nothing of it until he kept making the same turns to get to our culdesac (there are a lot of turns that you need to take to get into our neighborhood from the parkway).
She felt guilty because she knows how dangerous it is for motorcyclists. She makes sure to be extra safe and give them as much distance as they need. This is something she picked up once I started riding regularly and I do the same when I’m in my vehicle and there are other riders.
I told her that (in my opinion) it is not her fault at all. Even if she did not see him, once he begins following you home, everything ele goes out the window. Hey I’ve been cut off before and I never felt the need to follow a person to their house.
Other red flags I’ve noticed, and this is as a rider myself. The brother was in all black, with no reflective gear whatsoever. The parkway is only 35 mph, so for someone to misjudge the distance between them and you, you’d have to be going pretty fast. But most importantly, he completely ignored the biggest rule of the road, something instilled in my when I first took my classes, which is safety comes first. You don’t continue to put yourself in an unsafe situation and follow the person home. Believe me I’ve had close calls on my bike tag is to unsuspecting soccer moms in minivans or a kid texting and driving. But that doesn’t not give me the justification to follow them and “teach them a lesson”(what I think he wanted to do).
Everything is fine now, she’s still a bit shaken up. I decided to take her to work this morning to her ease her anxiety. I’ve also changed the battery, and updated all my cameras to ensure if he does com back I will now.
But I just wanted to know what would you have done in this situation. As the rider or as the man who’s girlfriend was followed home. Any suggestions on how to do better in case similiar situations arise are welcome. As long as they are constructive ofc.
I already talked to her about going to the police station or fire station that we pass by on our way to the house if it happens again. Among other things.
Anyways thanks a lot for your time,
TLDR : AITA for going crazy on a rider for following my girlfriend home?