u/1kurwa1tytoniowa

Please don't get me wrong, i suport you all in your tryings and i wish you luck, but i have mouth and free will so i spoke. I may be biased because of my life experience and by not being American citizen. Maybe there's somethings I don't understand. You can educate me in the comments, i want to hear your thoughts.

MD is borderline dissociative respond for being unable to cope with reality. No healthy person can do this without having some kind of severe mental health problem. Alternative methods are helpful (mindfulness is recommended by therapist),but not by themselves without therapy. It isn't free everywhere, not everyone has privilege or money to do attend therapy. I hate that MH is viewed by the world as less severe and urgent in comparison to phiscal health. Maybe it's radical view but, what's the difference between terminal illness and living in this lucid dream like coma without getting to the root of the problem? Mind is cleaver, if not ,,x" they will find ,,z" to obsessed about. It's like trying to cure eating disorder by working only on relationship with food....counterproductive, because food isn't the issues.

I knew IRL people who use bullshit arguments for not going therapy, money (they had it but rather spend it on some shit, it was so anyoing to watch..), long wait list for free therapy or giving it up because after one year they weren't cured. I saw in real time, multiply people MDed and not, loosing their lifes (not literally) due to not going to therapy. As i said before not everyone has this privilege, and I'm not talking about people who are really unable to do that.If you really can't, and you do whatever you can,that's great keep up!!.

Therapy isn't just to see the reason of your struggles. It helps you navigate your thoughts pattern, to heal inner child, which can't be done by only breathing and reading book or two.

I know that it's impossible to never felt happiness inside real world, but MD can distorte perception, or even memories of those moment. I can say, yea probably all of us felt good at some point, can you recall it? I wonder how many of us can truly comprehend enjoyment from real life.

• Have you ever fel it? Or Do you fight for the unknown healthy state of mind?
• Does life feel that doll in comparison to your fantasies?

From my experience, i see how physical md make me react. Rush of endorphins, weaknes in legs, like if the ground was moving underneath my feet (it's a pleasant experience for me) I only felt similar things as a teen, in stressful/excitement situations (I'm in my twenties) My therapist told me that, life don't get you this high heights.

• Is it for you hard to accept? It's hard for me for sure.

• Are your MD about you or about your OC? What's your reason?

I don't md about myself, when i think about OCs, it's like i disappear, and i love it (even though it's bad). Sometimes i walk, listen to music MDing and i snap back to reality. I get this impression that my eyes were unplugged from my sockets for a moment.

• How's your ability to be interested in hobbies, people etc. Do you have need to ,,fuel" you imagination with outside stimulus?
• Do you get bored of your MD?

Lot's of questions and obvious ones, but i just wonder. Wish you all luck with fighting! Even though it's hard at times and you don't want to <3

For context i (f23) have cptsd and dissociation disorder (with that one i don't know if i agree) I loved art since i can remember. When i was twelve i wanted to be cartoonist and i made universe. I'm not a character in that universe, i don't like idea of myself at all. My ideas are the best when I'm ,, living" but i tend to lean into MD when I'm depressed. When i get bad time my ideas are looping shit. I always call my writing a fanfics xD because things go ,, romantic or just ridiculous. I can see that and i hate it, it's make me cringe and very unhappy. I have hard therapy rn and i have trouble coping, so i leaned to MD and other compulsive behaviors, chain smoking tobacco. I don't feel like reading,watching or doing anything else. I have bf but no friends i can talk too. I real want to have female friend which is hard because my traumas where done by multiply womens. Most of my ,, creations" are about female relationships, probably because i crave them so much. I feel disgusted with myself, I'm afraid to write and draw or listen to music. I hate that I can't be normal and creat stuff that aren't disordered. When i feel good, i real love the word i created i can see inspiration i get from real world.For me it's a appreciation of reality that it's so hurtful and hard at times, but also beautiful and inspiring. You can't dream nothing new, if you don't look around.