I have had a girlfriend for over 3 years now. i love her and i enjoy spending my time with her, i would marry her if she asked right now.
But the issue is i tend to always want to get attention from other girls. I tend to catch myself having feeling for other woman to the point where i wanna cheat on my girlfriend.
I have cheated on her once already over a year ago with a older woman. I didn't feel the guilt i was just paranoid of getting caught or her finding the text messages in my phone.
Right now i currently have feelings for a close friend of hers. I always wanna be around her and sometimes debate if i should just risk my relationship because i feel she might feel the same way.
i don't Know why i do this to my girlfriend i just wish i could be loyal to her. i try to justify my actions on what i do by telling myself the things she did in the beginning.
( she didn't realize guys would flirt with her she thought they were being nice) but i believe no one is that stupid like what. I believe if i didn't tell her i was uncomfy she would've kept talking to those guys .
I have this thing that once a person does something like that i will never give them the respect they think they deserve.
She is loyal from what i know I've gone through her phone many times only thing i have found are vids of my phone where she catches me texting other girls.
am i a narcissist?