Considering abortion
I have two kids. They're 1 and 2. The older kiddo refers to my belly baby regularly. It's depressing because it feels like I shouldn't want this child. My marriage is struggling, we are hardly making it financially and I want to go back to college. But having another child would put that off.
I've been a stay at home mother for 3 years. It's really hard on me but since finding out about child #3, We moved back to my mom's city for her help and support. She seems pretty certain that I should abort and she even booked an abortion for me for thursday. neither her or my husband can take the day off so it would have to be my stepdad taking me which I hate. I cannot stand the idea and it's not right for me. I'm between 13-14 weeks pregnant.
I feel really connected to the pregnancy and the fetus. We haven't had insurance since moving states April first so we haven't been going to obgyn appointments and I haven't gotten to see ultrasounds at all. My husband is going to be opening a business within 6 months of me having the third and I just know it would be soul crushingly hard. But I can't fathom the grieving of an abortion. Nobody in my family has ever had one. I feel sick with confusion about this and I wish I knew instinctively what was right. It's so unfair how this decision solely weighs on me alone. Everyone around me can speak objectively but they don't know how it feels for me.