u/1carus5

As a non passing trans guy who hasn't been financially or socially allowed to have any sort of gender affirmative care, the casual cruelty I notice makes me feel like I'm going crazy.

People are always just slightly less kind to me than they are to everyone else. I can see all of the weird looks I get for being an AFAB person with short hair and unshaved legs, but I can't outright say that they mean to look at me that way.

Beyond that, the other day some old guy walked by me, fake coughed, and said something that made the guy next to him laugh. It was only after the fact that I realized it sounded like the T slur, but I can't quite tell. I could be making that up since I didn't fully hear it in the moment.

Today, I went to get a drug test for my job, and the lady IMMEDIATELY sighed and rolled her eyes when I walked in. She was extremely mean the whole time. I already have a shy bladder (it's embarrassing and annoying but unfortunately real,) so I was freaking out KNOWING I was too nervous to be able to fucking piss. Her rudeness did not help. She was completely kind to the cis woman who had the same issue. I ended up leaving after the second failed attempt to just take a piss because she was being so incredibly nasty about it even though I kept apologizing. Now I have to tell my employer I gotta retake the test because I failed to pee :'). Whatever. I'd be cranky if my job was collecting piss every day too, but you'd think she'd be used to this by now and realize that stressing people out will make their body lock up.

Anyways, that was a tangent. I just needed to rant about this because nobody else will see it as a real thing since there's no real proof of any of it being because I'm trans.