My mum used my friend’s death to lecture me
So, recently one of my best friends passed away. This is someone I went to uni with and have known for years. I had planned a trip to Vienna while she was alive, but a few days before I went she got really sick and it was obvious there was a high chance she could die. My mum thought it would be great to lecture me because I didn't give her and the rest of the family every detail about my trip, the hotel etc. Apparently, I was wrong and I shouldn't just ‘do things’ without informing the family and I should ‘look at what’s happening to my friend’ as an example. I got really angry at that. I thought it was disgusting to use a real-life person as an example. This wasn't some fictional character in a TV show. This was my friend on her deathbed and in terrible pain. But my mum thought it was appropriate to use her as a cautionary tale. When things get tough it's family that is there and if something were to happen to me some people wouldn’t want to be there for me because of how I treat them. Not sure how that's supposed to convince me of anything. If I got deathly ill and a family member decides not to support me because I didn't inform them of my movements or call them enough that says more about them than me, but ok.
That same friend died a few weeks ago. I decided to book a trip to Paris. I usually go around this time and I just wanted to get away from it all for a while. Her funeral is around the corner and I wanted to lift my spirits somewhat. She brought it up again. Stuff about family and how I should use my money to ‘bless’ others ie. Extended family or herself. She implied all the money I have now is because of the good she's done for others (so the blessing is going towards her children) and how I wouldn't be where I am now if she didn't provide a middle class lifestyle for me. It's starting to annoy me. She always ends it with ‘it’s your money’, ‘you work for it, so of course you should spoil yourself’ AFTER critiquing me for doing something as basic as hopping on the Eurostar for a weekend trip. Mind you, I don't even spend as much as I could. Money is something that always comes up now. Every time we speak! Sometimes I just want to catch up and she'll bring up money. If I push back on something she’ll say “I don’t care how much money you make”. If I go out (I live at home) without telling her she’ll imply I’m feeling myself because of how much I earn and I'm ‘disrespecting’ her.
I know this is word vomit, but I just want to vent.