GF is going low-contact
Kind of success, kind of just exhausted.
My gf and I (both F mid 20s) have been together almost two years, lived together for about one. Our relationship has been incredible since day one. We both have our baggage, it's our first major relationship, and we have zero examples in our lives of healthy relationships. We've worked endlessly for each other and want to marry each other.
I found this subreddit not long after we got together. She has a stereotypical victim complex mom, keeps to himself dad, and younger sister that's a copy of her mom.
MIL and I were fine at the beginning, but once I stayed for longer than a few months and made it clear I LIKED her daughter and wouldn't bully my gf with her everything went downhill.
Since then, she's opposed any major steps we've made in our relationship, and puts down anything happy about it. MIL hates that my family treats her well, and cried and sobbed and screamed at gf when we moved in together. She treats my gf like she's too stupid to live without her while also using her as a therapist. You know the drill.
Now that gf doesn't live with them, her family has still been doing insane stuff and blowing up. Now, though, we only hear about everything after it's happened.
Last week they had a family dinner where everything built up and exploded (again), and they ended it with my gf saying that if they want anything to begin working as a family they have to all seek therapy. MIL took that as a personal slight, it's what we expected.
When she got home (I wanted to go with her to dinner but was sick, MIL thought I was lying about that) gf said she was done talking to them for a while.
I thought I had YEARS until she decided to go LC. It's not perfect, she's figuring out what that looks like and is learning to stop calling her mom when her dad texts her that MIL locked herself in her room again. She's grappling with anger and loneliness.
But, she's in counseling, is rebuilding what her friendships look like so that she can finally stop giving 100% to people that don't even give her 5%, and we're keeping our peace. I love her and I'm proud of her. The work she's done in the last two years to untangle the abuse her family and friends have put her through has been incredible.
I see a lot of people on this subreddit talk about their partners not making the effort to protect them, and I'm extremely lucky that she's been on my side the entire relationship. I'm not perfect, but I'm very lucky to have her.