I [46F] recently discovered that my boyfriend [42M] of three years joined a singles group and a polyamory group on meetup last year within the same month. When I asked him about it, he said he doesn’t give any credence to what the name of the group is and that he is only looking for fun things to do when we’re not together. I checked out the singles group and discovered he did not attend any events. As for the polyamory group, the event list is visible to members only. So, I know this means he could not have been initially enticed by an event because he had to actively join the group before viewing their upcoming events. I had a hard time believing him, but he insisted he had no intention to put himself out there as single. The polyamory group really stumped me because we’ve had a few conversations over the years about how we are one-girl/one-guy kind of people and are not into group sex. He’s actually been very adamant about that.
It was many months ago that he joined those groups (he belongs to quite a few other generic social groups, a couple of which he used to attend once or twice a month until recently), and I know he hasn’t attended any meetup groups in the last couple months. I honestly can’t think of when he would have dated other people. It just doesn’t make sense to me when he logistically would’ve made that happen. (we live together.) Plus, we have an extremely loving and caring relationship (at least I felt that way with him) and are connected in our lives with family and friends.
Some background on him: he was bullied as a kid and had a lot of trouble making friends until the last year or two of high school. He did not have a girlfriend until his late 20s. As such, he’s always come across to me as a bit needy with wanting to acquire new friends and having “friend time” (though I am often included) to a far greater extent than I am since we met eight years ago. For the record, I do see my friends, but he seems to be eternally in friend-making phase — much like I was when I was starting out in college. So, it’s not out of the ordinary that he would be seeking social activity through meetup. He’s been open with me about attending other events.
My question is two-pronged: can anyone see any possible way he may be telling the truth based on his background or whatever other insights you may have? And should I broach another conversation with him about this? I’m just not feeling well about how I left that conversation.
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**TL;DR;** : I [46F] found out boyfriend [42M] joined a singles and polyamory group on meetup last year. I don’t believe his rationale.