AITA for refusing to help my mom get another car after she already ruined one I co-signed for?
I’m 30M. I’ve never made a ton of money, but I’ve always been careful with my credit. I use my credit card, don’t overspend, and only finance stuff I know I can pay off.
My mom has kind of the opposite history. She’s filed for bankruptcy multiple times. The thing is though, it’s not because she doesn’t make money. She’s usually had jobs paying like 80k+ a year. It’s more just bad financial decisions over time.
A while back, before I really understood how big of a deal it was, I co-signed a car for her. She stopped making payments, and now it’s about to get repossessed. She’s like $5k behind and still owes around $18k total. So yeah… that’s now my problem too.
About 3 years ago I finally got my first IT job. Not crazy money, but I’m stable. When I needed a car, my Nana co-signed for me. I never missed a payment and paid it off completely. I have a different car now (divorce stuff), still owe about $10k, and haven’t missed a payment on that either.
My Nana’s retired now so she can’t help like that anymore.
Recently my sister needed a car, and I wanted to give her the same shot I got. So I financed a car in my name only for her. No co-signer, it’s all on me. I told her straight up if she misses payments or trashes it, I’m taking it back. She agreed.
She lives with my mom, and now they’re sharing that car since my mom’s is about to be repo’d.
Now my mom expects me to help her get another car.
I told her if I did help at all, it would ONLY be for something cheap, like $5k or less. Nothing newer. But honestly I don’t even feel good about that after what happened last time.
Here’s the part that’s messing with me though:
My mom has done a lot for me. When I moved from WI to AZ, I was already clean, but she gave me a place to live and didn’t pressure me or try to control me. She kind of just supported me and nudged me in the right direction, like going back to school. A lot of where I’m at now is because of her and my Nana.
So I feel like I owe her.
But at the same time… she already screwed me once, and I’m still dealing with it. And since her issues aren’t from lack of money, I’m worried it’ll just happen again.
She’s upset with me and thinks I should help more.
I feel guilty, but I also don’t want to wreck my finances over this.
AITA if I just refuse to help her get another car (or only help under strict limits)?