The impacts of depression on those around me
Its kind of crazy how isolating dealing with depression is. I have friends, family, and a loving partner yet I dont feel like i can truly let any of them know how sad I am. Im constantly trying not to rely too much on my partner to carry me through my sadness and be the person I go to for support, because I feel that no one person should be tasked with the stress of that. I hate making people worry about me and my partner does a lot of that. I wish I could have one person to just unload all of the shit in my brain to but everyone I know obviously cares about me and I do not like worrying those I love. I dont want anyone to feel burnt out from hearing about me being sad all the time.
I feel like i can share some with those around me but im really kind of alone with the full sad depths of my thoughts. If I told one person exactly how im feeling it would be probably pretty distressing for them. In the past I've connected with strangers online for this purpose, because they dont know me enough to be super worried or impacted by me venting.
There are tons of resources online for people whose partners are depressed (which im glad for) but there really arent that many for people who are depressed trying to navigate it without stressing out their friends and family. I never know how to recognize when I'm just making people atound me feel bad nor do I know what I should do to stop doing that.