u/0vizz

For me, being in a relationship or even having feelings for someone is something that I try to stray away from. I know that I get quite weird when I like someone, so I do the most to try and be alone. However, this doesn't mean that I haven't had relationships previously obviously. I fall for people quite fast, but this of course just means that it's due to silly limerance rather than actually liking someone for who they are. So basically, all of my previous relationships have just been mutual lovebombing and things of that nature.

Now, the current guy that I like is different. I really do adore him, not just because he's sweet but because of all the little things that make him who he is. Anyone can be nice, but no one could be him. Do I still have an urge to lovebomb him? Yes. But I haven't, because I really do believe he deserves something genuine and someone nicer than me. Thing is, he's my best friend. And it's not like I'm not a selfish person for still wanting to be near him, it's just I'm trying so hard to be good.

Besides being really attached to him, I'm also really lustful. But the funny thing is it only happens if I have feelings for someone, otherwise I don't really have any desires for that at all. I know there's a whole thing about men being really lustful and only wanting women for their body etc, and I'm not saying it's not real, I've just personally never had this issue. With my past exs, it's always only been romantic stuff, with them not even wanting to do sexual activities and never initiating it out of either shyness or wanting to wait a bit.

At least then I could talk about it, but now it's just the guy and I have such a pure friendship and I wouldn't want to ruin that because I'm a lustful horndog. I feel guilty, especially knowing the kind of guy he is as well as his past trauma. This is egoistical to say, but I know he likes me too. I do see us being together in the future after this slow burn, but at the same time there's too much wrong with me to be with someone like him. He thinks I'm all nice and that he's found someone who's a sweetheart but it makes me feel bad knowing that I'm just pretending to be that.

It feels like everyday my hairline gets pushed back more and more. I already have so many physical insecurities, I REALLY don't need to be balding at 18! My hair looks decently healthy in volume sure, if not a tad bit of the thinner side, but that's only if you're not comparing to how my hair was previously. My hair used to be SO voluminous and big, seriously. Pretty much everyone commented on how much hair I had. But
now it's just thin, greasy and boneless. Plus a bunch of frizz, breakage and those weird stress curl kind of hairs. I've never dyed my hair either so
this feels really unfair. My square receding hairline is getting harder and harder to cover up it's genuinely stressing me out. I will consider minoxidil, but it'll probably have to be after the summer as currently I am dealing with university stuff. I'm just going to take my vitamins and hope for the best :(