Fiancé and I got a roommate…
TL;DR
Fiancé and i let our friend move in with us to get her on her feet, she is not following through with her promises to help around the apartment, JUST got a job after 5 months of living with us, disrespectful to me and my dog, and tried to get us to move out to a different place with her because it would be better…
Roommate Advice?
I (25M) currently live with my fiancé (27NB), and our friend (25F) who moved in of November of last year, the day before Thanksgiving. The first couple of months were great. She moved in with us because she wanted to get out of her hometown and we are giving her that opportunity to get on her feet because it’s almost impossible to do by yourself in this economy.
She looked for a job until MARCH. For 5 months we spent extra money on groceries and bills with no contribution from her. We understood she was looking for a job but it was putting us in a rough financial spot.
Before she moved in she promised to help us around the house with chores and getting things more organized in some areas but she has not followed through with that at all. At the end of the week I like to clean up and reset for the next week, she knew that but when I asked her to clean the bathroom she complained. She did it but she complained.
There had also been some instances where I felt disrespected by her in our home. The first instance was while I was cooking dinner one night. She was watching TikTok videos on her phone and my dog started shaking and freaking out. I was comforting him and asked what she had playing on her phone, if there was a smoke alarm beep in the video and she said yes there was and I told her he was terrified of that sound because he and I literally almost died due to carbon monoxide poisoning a year prior. I told her half jokingly “looks like you can’t watch videos with smoke alarm sounds” and she looked at me and said “I am not letting a dog dictate what I can and can’t do.”
Also I am the one who cooks dinner every night, if it’s not me we don’t eat a home cooked meal. My fiancé has been helping out more but it is hard when it feels like it’s all on me. With cleaning too, I think I can count on one hand how many times our new roommate has helped me clean without me asking.
Another instance is one night she wanted to drink and party at the house with us because we didn’t have work the next day but we had been up since 4am so we were exhausted. We took one shot with her and I said I was done and she seemed upset. We were talking on the phone with one of my friends and it wasn’t a very lively conversation, we were all tired and it was late but she stormed out of the room and I asked her where she was going and she didn’t respond. She walked out because we weren’t fitting the vibe. Didn’t speak to us the rest of the night but we overheard her loudly talking on the phone with one of her friends saying how she would be a great roommate for him.
One night she invited our neighbor inside in the middle of the night TO KILL A BUG for her. I was asleep on the couch and I woke up to her telling me that they were coming over to do this for her and I was pissed because what do you mean we have work in the morning and you’re letting our neighbors in to kill a bug for you???? We’re friends with our neighbors but that made me really uncomfortable.
We had also had a conversation communicating that we were comfortable with her staying here for up to a year. However.. she had been showing us apartments she was looking at for us to move out of here together… we never talked about that. My fiancé and I aren’t moving until we are more financially stable.
Anyway. I just need some advice on what to do. I feel so uncomfortable in our place now and I don’t know what to do. We were really close with her and now I don’t even think I like her as a person anymore. My fiancé was scared of this because they have had some bad roommate situations but they thought since we were such good friends with her it wouldn’t be bad and it would help us out with bills so we could save more money.