Sexual Dysphoria... :/
TW: DYSPHORIA, BOTTOM SURGERY, SEX, ECT...
I'm FTM, straight, been on testosterone for 1,5 years, but no surgery at all, on the waitlist for top.
It has been 1 year that I'm in relationship with my girlfriend, but it genuinely feels weird to be 100% dominant. I strongly want to, but most of the time, I feel incomplete without a dick. I've tried a strap-on, but it gives me a lot of distress to know that it isn't mine.
I know using my hands and my mouth is considered dominant enough, but I still feel heavily exposed as "not being a real man" and I hate it. I genuinely enjoy sex, but there's always these moments in which I became self-conscious and I got out of the moment...
It just feels weird that I can't just put my dick inside a woman and feel pleasure from it...