Psychic Amputation - in 20 student vs Dr K
Dr K, HG team & Chat,
What do you know about psychic amputation?
Around 2017 - 2018 dad told me not to bring home girls, or that he'll kick me out of the house. So I convinced myself that I am ugly enough that no one would want me. It was supported by us being in Singapore, where I found majority of the women unattractive - mostly in the form of fake personality and hidden racism that I could see through, ulterior motives, and physically repulsive (1.5 - 4 out of 10). Growing up with them, being bullied at school for 6.5 years, traumatised by their racism played a crucial part in me being able to see through their bs (immigrant parents from India, so no support from them). I resolved to using porn to substitute for genuine relationships that I was not allowed to have.
Then in 2020 when I came to Australia, and I wanted to talk to attractive girls - physically attractive (6/10 onwards, genuine personality, a good heart). I felt that I was trying to access a part of me that wasn't there. Is that psychic amputation?
I've had someone to talk about my trauma growing up + Dr K Youtube channel. So things aren't that bad. But I find that I am unable to have chemistry with a person. How do I do things to know if I have chemistry with someone? I think I did psychic amputation on that part of my brain to survive my dad's ultimatum.