I (28F) recently moved in with my BF (27M) of 3 years. Overall it’s going good but whenever he makes a careless mistake I get really angry very quickly. I think it’s because I am hyper vigilant and independent and I have really low patience for making mistakes on things that seem to be common sense to me. He is sort of a coddled guy who is not handy at all and that would be fine except he’s also a complainer. In the past his carelessness hasn’t affected me too bad because we didn’t live together. But now I have to check the door every night to see if he locked it when he came in and the answer is he usually didn’t. I feel like if I dont double check everything he does or just do it myself that it won’t be done correctly. I don’t want that and it makes me really impatient and angry because I don’t want to have to mother him.
Yesterday I asked him if he could bring me a pen of refrigerated medication because I’m dog sitting this weekend and I forgot it. Instead of listening to me he brought the whole box unopened with 4 doses inside of it., since it had been out of the fridge all day I lost a week of expensive medication. It’s little things that add up that make me feel like he’s either incompetent or just if it’s something for me or I want that he doesn’t care enough to be thorough. However, when these things happen he just says sorry, you need to write instructions out for me which that makes me more angry because this wasn’t like a multi step thing there was an open box with 1 singular pen ready in the fridge why would you take the full one?!?
Or when we moved the way he packed my lamp in his care was so careless that it broke instantly. I’m honestly surprised more things didn’t break with how careless he was. I don’t want to ruin this relationship by jumping to conclusions immediately and getting angry because this is the best relationship I’ve ever been in he’s really nice to me and patient with me and he is a good partner with a good family. Any advice is appreciated I know I probably also need to go back to therapy to work on my hyper vigilance, but I need him to also be my partner and use common sense.
TLDR: my boyfriend has a pattern of carelessness when it comes to my things and my time that makes me really angry. I recognize that I do it jump to anger quickly but the lack of thoughtfulness is triggering the hell out of me.