I got into an accident while thinking about my crush.
I (20F) had a complete ACL rupture about a year ago and underwent surgery. I’ve been in rehab since and I’ve almost fully recovered. I’ve only ever had intense crushes in my life and this one almost killed me. I don’t know why but this guy isn’t even all that. He calls me chopped and a loser but I like him anyway. We had a few late night conversations and some flirting here and there but that’s about it. I think he even suspects that I like him but that’s besides the point because he’s still not over his ex whom he broke up with 5 months ago.
I was losing my mind over him. I feel like a loser. All I could think about was him. It was consuming me mentally. I was half asleep, sad thinking about him while crossing the road and a bike hit me. The lady swerved thankfully but I still got hit and thrown off balance. The lady riding the bike is fine (thankfully) as am I, but I think my ACL might have gotten torn again as the pain has worsened.
He doesn’t even care that I got into an accident. He just called me a pussy.
I honestly don’t know what to do because I feel like I’m unworthy of love. I have so much love in my life. I have wonderful friends who love and care for me, my parents are extremely supportive and we are comfortable. I don’t understand why I feel so insecure and unloveable. I’ve never experienced love even once in my life. I know I’m young, but when people around me are getting into relationships, the fact that I’ve never been asked out even though I’m decent looking and said to have a decent personality just makes me feel like a pathetic loser.
My feelings always go unreciprocated and I always over invest. I just hate myself so much. Sorry for dumping.