I was the problem. I ruined something that could’ve been so beautiful, a whole 7 years tossed away. I struggled with undiagnosed bpd for years, part of it being I was too stubborn to even explore getting help. My mood would just fluctuate like crazy, and it would be completely dependent upon every situation I was in. If I was stressed, i made sure and knew. If something went wrong, I made sure it went wrong for her too. I have since gotten help, but it was too late.
I’m so numb and dissociated from the reality of what has occurred. Maybe I don’t want to accept it. We lived together almost the entirety of the relationship, first at my dad’s, then our own apartment. We “officially” broke up and moved on 3 weeks ago. Only issue is, we had 2 dogs TOGETHER.
She has withheld the dogs from me for the last 3 weeks. I am now blocked. Since the breakup, the worst I have done is constantly beg to see our shared dogs. I know, it’s crazy. But I can’t lose them:
What do I do? I am not going the court route because of all the crazy shit I’ve said in the passed that she will probably try to use against me.
Help. I miss them terribly.