At first I tried to give him some time to grieve without trying to pressure him into therapy. However, about six weeks ago I learned he'd been lying to both me and his psychiatrist about taking his mood stabilizer for five months.
At that point, when combined with the behaviors he's been displayed, I began pushing more for him to find a new therapist.
He has medicaid, so the options are fairly limited. However he found someone he likes, and they've had about 3 sessions together.
At first I was relieved, but that has now shifted to uneasiness.
After today's session, he told me it went really well, and that while she did challenge him on a couple things (no clue what, he didn't expand and I try to respect that therapy is his space), she also told him a lot of great things about himself and reaffirmed that he's doing so many things in a healthy and productive way.
The larger concerns were that, according to him, she also expressed that, for someone that is completely off their bipolar medication, he is doing great and that she agrees I may be using his mental illness as a scapegoat for some of our relationship problems.
Of course I want him to feel good about himself, but right now his bipolar disorder is so rampant that he has no room in his mind for anyone else to be wrong. He already has a very elevated sense of self. When his bipolar disorder escalates to this level, he becomes narcissistic and loses empathy for others.
And of course I want healthy habits to be celebrated, but my partner, who is known to be off his medication, going to counseling and having his behaviors celebrated as healthy is....worrisome. His behaviors have not been healthy. They have been very scary and emotionally abusive.
Now, I do know she is relying on his self report, which is not a reliable source when someone's perception of reality is so very skewed. I'm confident that he did not describe recent events in a super accurate way. However, I fear this more "person centered" approach is going to fuel his bipolar narrative and cognitive distortions.
As for the bit about his medication.....why on earth would a mental health professional ever say something like that? I'm not a licensed counselor, but I do have a masters in social work, and even with my baseline education I understand that's not a good idea.
It fuels the narrative in his head that he doesn't really NEED the meds. It is like throwing gasoline on a fire.
Then the part about me using his mental illness as a scapegoat...oh goodness.
I desperately hope he is misrepresenting her, but I also know she is still fairly new to the field. I'm not even certain she has finished her supervision hours to be certified. After today I looked online to try and learn about her credentials/experitise. I found very little, and what I did find had no letters after her name that would give me an idea of her licensure.
Everyone has to start somewhere, I'm not trying to insult her, but my partner has bipolar 1, suicidal tendencies, physical disabilities, severe chronic pain from complications with type 1 diabetes, and trauma from his last romantic relationship. He needs someone experienced in working with bipolar disorder.
I am....stressed.
I mean, I was already stressed, but now it's a new layer.